A few years ago, I assembled a bookshelf from a flat-pack box.
The instructions had 22 steps. I reached step 21.
Then I found two leftover screws and a panel that was installed backward. There was no step 23 that said, “Cry a little, then eat a large slice of dark chocolate cheesecake.” But there should be.
That’s a small kind of suffering. It’s a silly one, even. But most days, our suffering doesn't come from furniture. It comes from a diagnosis, a breakup, a layoff, or a parent who is no longer around to answer the phone. And when it's 1 a.m. and you're staring at the ceiling, you're not thinking about bookshelves. You're thinking, “Why is this happening, and how do I get through it?”
That question deserves a real answer. Not a poster with a sunset on it.
Let's dig in.
At some point, many of us began to believe that a good life should always be smooth sailing. When it doesn't, we assume something is wrong, maybe with us. But every wisdom tradition, every religion, and every grandmother who has lived past 70 will tell you the same thing: pain is not the exception. It's the norm.
The question isn't “if” pain will happen. It's “what now?”
The Bible doesn't avoid this. It doesn't promise a pain-free life.
Paul, who wrote a large part of the New Testament and knew suffering firsthand—beatings, shipwrecks, prison—wrote: “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3–4, NIV).
Paul isn't saying suffering is secretly good. He's saying something can still be built out of it. Perseverance. Character. Hope. Not because the pain is not painful, but because you can come out on the other side with something you didn't have going in.
God is able to bring good even out of painful situations (Romans 8:28).
The Story We Tell Ourselves Matters
A friend of mine once got laid off on a Friday.
By Monday, she had convinced herself she was lazy, unlovable, and permanently unemployable. None of that was true. But her brain needed a story fast, and the fastest story is usually the meanest one.
This is what suffering does if we let it run unchecked. It doesn't just hurt; it narrates. And the narrative is often worse than the facts.
James, Jesus' brother, wrote to a group of believers who were scattered and suffering:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2–3, NIV).
“Pure joy” sounds like a stretch when you're in it. But James isn't saying, “Feel happy about your pain.” He's saying, "Don't let the pain write the whole story." There's more happening than the hurt.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
I know someone—let's call him Mark—who lost his dad when he was young.
For years, he thought grief meant something was wrong with him, because everyone else “seemed fine.” Turns out, everyone else was faking fine.
Mark wasn't messed up; he was grieving, on schedule, in public, surrounded by people who were also doing their best to survive the grief.
Suffering can isolate us with a lie: “You're the only one this is happening to.”
You're not.
Make It Practical
You don't need a theology degree to get through a hard week. You need a few simple actions:
- Name it out loud. Not “I'm fine.” Tell one person the real thing. Isolation makes pain heavier.
- Lower the bar today. You don't have to be productive, wise, or okay. You just have to get through today.
- Look for the smallest next right thing. Not the whole plan. One step.
- Let someone else carry it with you. A text. A call. A pastor, a counselor, or a friend who won't try to fix you in one conversation.
- Expect waves, not a straight line. Healing isn't a staircase. It's more like the tide—it comes in, goes out, and still ends up higher than where it started.
A Faith Thread, If You Want It
Here's the honest part: faith doesn't remove suffering. It gives you company inside it.
The Bible describes God this way: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV).
“Brokenhearted” isn't a poetic word here; it means what it sounds like. And “close” doesn't mean distant sympathy. It means present.
Paul also called God “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort others” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4, NIV).
“Comfort,” in that verse, means something closer to “strengthening presence” than “a nice feeling.” The idea is that the comfort you receive now isn't just for you. Later, you'll be able to offer it to someone else going through the same thing.
You're Still Here
If you made it this far, you're already doing the hardest part: staying in the question instead of running from it.
Suffering doesn't get a tidy ending in one article. But you don't have to sort it out alone at 1 a.m.
If you want to talk it through with a real person, Venture Church has counselors and ministry leaders who sit with people in exactly this spot—no pressure, no perfect faith required to walk in the door. Reach out. Come as you are, bookshelf and all.
Dr. Billy Ready Jr. is a biblical counselor at Cornerstone Counseling Center, located at Venture Church's Hunt Club Campus in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. He holds a PhD and a Master of Arts in Counseling and is BC-TMH certified. He and his wife are partners at the Lincoln Road Campus.
Next Steps: Talk With Someone
You don't have to do this out alone. If you'd like to talk with a counselor, Cornerstone Counseling Center offers professional, faith-integrated care at Venture Church's Hunt Club Campus, 1900 N. 31st Ave, Hattiesburg, Mississippi.
Contact: 601-800-7591 | Make an Appointment
Talk to a pastor or ministry leader. Contact a Venture Church pastor or ministry leader.
Find people to walk with you. Find a House Church Near You
New to Venture? Plan a Visit to a Campus
If you're having thoughts of harming yourself or need urgent support, call or text 988 (the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), available 24/7. If you're in immediate danger, call 911.
Related Reading
Feeling alone in your struggle? Read Why Join a Church? A (Humble) Case for Church Membership.
Longing to belong? Read Peer Pressure in College and High School: Fear of Being Left Out.