Begin with two minutes of stillness and silence before God.

Gentleness is often misunderstood as weakness or passivity. In Scripture, however, it’s a powerful force that brings peace, healing, and life. When I think of this word, the pictures that come to mind are water and fire. Gentleness is less about strength and much more about restraint. When it stays between the banks, a river brings life to all it encounters, and a fire that is contained brings warmth to all who come near it. A gentle spirit (tone/body language/disposition) and tongue (words) have a significant impact on our relationships with others.

Verse 1 speaks directly to the power of our words. A gentle response can defuse tension, prevent escalation, and restore peace, while a harsh word “stirs up anger,” creating conflict and hurt. I see this often in my work with children and their families —I see this in my own family as we parent our teen. A parent’s tone, words, and body language in a difficult moment have an incredible effect on the outcome of those moments! The words we choose and how we choose to speak them can build bridges or fortify walls in our relationships with our children, spouses, and friends.

Verse 2 reminds us that a wise person “adorns” knowledge with their words. Webster’s Dictionary defines adorn in this way: “to make beautiful or attractive”. Verse 2 is reminding us that a wise person understands that knowledge is much more appealing and more likely to be received when spoken by an advocate rather than an adversary. An advocate doesn’t seek to dominate conversations or prove a point but works to understand and then encourage understanding and truth. In contrast, those who speak without restraint cause more harm than good.

As verse 3 reminds us, God sees our actions, including our words. He is aware of the evil we say and do as well as the good, which is both a comfort and a reminder of accountability. When we speak with gentleness, we reflect His character. We become instruments of His peace, reflecting His love and care in the world.

Finally, verse 4 paints a picture of the effects of a gentle tongue—it is a “tree of life.” Just as a tree provides shade, sustenance, and beauty, so do kind words. They bring comfort, hope, and encouragement to those who hear them. But harsh, deceitful, or hurtful words crush the spirit.

How often do we rush to respond in frustration or anger, only to regret our harsh words — to a spouse, friend, or child? Gentleness, especially in our speech, requires self-control and a reliance on the Holy Spirit. It is not something we can muster on our own but comes from walking closely with God and allowing His Spirit to shape our hearts.

Take two minutes to reflect in silence.

Reflection:

• Think about your recent conversations with your spouse, children, or friends. Have your words been gentle, aimed at healing and peace, or have they stirred up conflict, stress, and defeat? Ask God to help you speak words of life, to give you the wisdom and grace to respond gently in every situation.
  
• This week, make a conscious effort to respond gently in difficult situations and conversations. Pay attention to your tone and words, asking God to guide you in conversations where you might be tempted to react harshly. Let your gentleness be an example to others of the transforming power of Christ in your life.
  
• Prayer: Lord, help me to speak with gentleness and wisdom. When I am tempted to respond in anger or frustration, give me the patience and strength to answer with kindness and grace. Let my words bring life to those around me, reflecting Your love and peace in every interaction. Amen.